(The text was substantially revised on 30 October 2026.)

I am a gender-non-conforming male.
You are not expected to read this, so if you do not want to, then simply refuse to do so. 

“Male” is taken to be defined biologically through a body constituted around the production of small gametes. 

“Gender” is taken to mean roughly an identity (as in identity politics) like worker, aristocrat or urban, which is essentially externally ascribed by dynamic social processes. As a matter of fact, the gender of a man usually excludes effeminate (= gender-non-conforming) gays, hence the criterion of externality is validated. Therefore, by definition, I do not have the gender of a man. I am quite happy about this and refuse any attempts to conceptual-engineer effeminate gays into the gender of men. I also consider these attempts as reactionary. Therefore, I refuse the dichotomous separation between cis and trans, because it does not even represent the most widely known kinds among LGBTQ people adequately. 

“Gender-Identity” is only a name, because, since it is self-ascribed, it is neither an identity nor a gender. Also, many people do not have one. There is no widely accepted and consistent definition for “non-binary” and I (in my view) the term is beyond repair. 

“Man” and “woman” are historically established and, therefore, rigid designators for reproductive functions in society. Hence they are therefore sex terms rather than gender terms. That is why I speak of "the gender of a woman” rather than of “the gender woman.” However, I am careful with these terms because they have strong lexical effects, that is, effects produced by the words themselves, independently of their literal meaning. For this reason, I do not like being called a man, since this usually triggers the expectation that I should conform to the ideals included in the gender of a man. Such ideals are protecting women and children and, consequently, being strong, providing for them, and taking on certain other responsibilities in society. However, as a gay feminine male, I simply do not have these responsibilities. There is an interesting argument to be made because of my Aristotelian ethical realism, but here is not the place for that.

My acknowledgement of the semantic facts of the word “woman” is one reason why I often find myself aligned with so-called TERFs. Another is that I consider the categorical balkanization among gender-non-conforming males into trans-women, fem-boys, she-males, Drag Queens and others as unsustainable in the long run and against our common causes. The third and strongest reason is that the current agenda of trans-women lacks solidarity with and empathy for the rest of gender-non-conforming males. All of us face violence in the same extend, quality and magnitude, therefore proposed solutions that only benefit trans-women on the expenses of other gender-non-conforming males are unacceptable. One example for this was banning DragQueens from Pride and University Unions as successfully demanded 2012-2014 in the UK. Another example is the demand to be transferred into female-only prisons instead of making queer-only areas in male-only prisons sustainable for all of us.

I am fine with he/him, if this is the option you feel most comfortable with. But I also frequently go by she/her in the manner of the gay sociolect as “that bit*h”.